- Happiness is the goal

and reinventing yourself is the path to get there..


“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
As a child my answer was “I want to be a marine biologist”.

Sadly, this was a dream I got talked out of all-too-quickly when visiting the nearest university offering the program.

I promptly redirected my ambitions/goals- chose other universities, a new major, different secondary degree, and entirely different life path and decades (and mountains of student loan debt) due to that fateful meeting and parents who supported the “logic” behind it (primarily thinking it would mean I stayed closer to home).

Luckily, I now know/understand that we all get to choose multiple paths and directions throughout our lives.
We get to constantly redefine and reinvent who we are now and who we want to be…next.

While I wouldn’t mind having those “wasted” decades (and the dollars) back with the confidence and knowledge I have now… they also made me who I am and somehow also brought me here to where I am now.

At some point along the way I decided that marine biology wasn’t the answer to what I wanted either.
Nor was architecture/design.
Nor was being an artist or a wedding photographer
or an entrepreneur.
What I truly wanted…was simply to be happy.
To go out chasing mermaids.

Lucky for me, it was the oregon hippy turned mermaid living next door that provided that inspiration and the freedom of mind that said that was actually okay… and chasing/following her around for the last couple decades has been far better than that original childhood dream.

I think for most of us, it’s pretty easy to look back at the middle school/high school years - remember the chaos and hormones and sadness of it all (for me, to remember the time spent locked inside lockers and feeling like a complete outcast/lonely soul)… and say that it makes complete sense that we couldn’t (or shouldn’t) possibly have to make a massive life decision at that point.
How could anyone at that age (with almost zero life experiences outside of the school walls and the small town/neighborhood they grew up in) possibly be asked to decide what they want to do with the rest of their life? It’s borderline absurd!

I feel like most of the world has at least figured out the fact that a “gap year” spent between high school and college might help clear the mind, start to find/learn something about yourself and possibly help point the needle in the right direction in terms of career/goals - but in the US we somehow deleted that from the list of options as well. At least where and how I grew up there were 3 options.
1. Go to college
2. Work at the local mill/factory.
3. Join the military (which at the time sounded pretty attractive because it was at least travel/change).

I still remember the first time I’d even heard about the term “gap year”.
I was sitting on a dive boat in NZ, chatting over the noisy outboard with other excited tourists and killing time until we arrived at our dive site. I was trying to squeeze a single dive (my only half day of free time) into a busy work schedule that had me traveling outside the states for almost 2months (much of it, sadly without Jen). Most of the group with me on that boat were from a dozen different countries, all traveling the globe on their gap year, making new friends and learning about themselves and who they wanted to be - BEFORE going back home and committing to a path/career.

I knew almost nothing about them, but the jealously I had for everyone else on that boat (from the travelers to the divemasters and even the unpaid interns who were carrying dive tanks but spent their days in and under the water) was intense.
By that time, I had already spent 6years focused on chasing 2 different degrees (that I would never use), collecting almost $100k in debt and loans, forced to take a job doing something I hated to try and pay them down and had then spent another 6years growing increasing frustrated and angry that that I was “stuck” in that job that I never wanted and with still almost nothing to show for it at the end of every year.

For what? The promise of a paycheck. Security.
The mantra that society had engrained into my head (most all of our heads).
“Do well in school so you can go to college, so you can get a job so that you can save money, so that you can (hopefully) retire and then finally be happy”.
Sorry… but, WHAT??

I would have traded it all to carry dive tanks for free if it meant I got to spend more time underwater and searching for life in those kelp beds…
and later on we luckily did just that (but so far also choosing warmer climates)… But how great would the world be if we could find a way to give children/young adults the space and time to ask themselves questions focused not on how they can best make money but what would make them happy?

What if even those of us far past those years felt like there was any other option or path - not toward advancing our careers or paying down our loans faster - but charting our course towards happiness. Towards spending our time with those we choose to be around and doing the things that light us up?

That's a world I’d be thrilled to live in - and honestly… I can now say that (from the other side) - there are many people out here who are actually choosing to live life in that way and with that mindset. Even if we couldn’t have imagined that they were out here before. It’s one of the sad realities - that at least for most of us… you wont find the examples, the mentors, the people to look up to and follow in their footsteps within your own circle of friends and/or neighborhood. In most cases you either have to seek that community of like-minded souls out online/from afar… or (better yet) you have to simply get out there and meet them where they are. ;)